The death of any close loved one can be traumatic for a child whether the death was unexpected or came after a long illness. However, the death of a sibling can cause a deep wound in a child or teen that is very difficult to bear.

Because all families have different dynamics and relationships with each other, finding the right way to help a child deal with the loss of a sibling can be difficult. The guilty feelings over different matters are often evident. These reactions are common and have ways to deal with them.

Survivors guilt can be extremely crippling when the loved one who died is a sibling. When the surviving child feels that they are somehow less deserving of life than the sibling who has died, it can cause pain and confusion. Parents of these children need to let them know that they deserve to be alive just as much as any other person. Confirm in them that they are unique, special, and just as important as the sibling who has died. Parents also need to make sure that friends and family members do not compare the deceased sibling with the one who survived. Sometimes they just do not understand how hurtful they can be.

A surviving sibling may also be upset when recalling past fights or disagreements with a sibling who has died. They need to understand that these things are normal between siblings. In fact, the closer two siblings are, the more they tend to fight. The surviving child needs to understand exactly what caused the death of their sibling. They need to know that there is no possible way that mean thoughts or feelings caused the death.

They also need to know, in a way that follows the family’s religious beliefs, that the child who has died no longer harbors any ill will or hard feelings. Siblings should know that the only feeling that lingers after death is love.