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Making your older kid feel wanted

Often parents make the mistake of neglecting the older kid for the younger kid. Almost any family in the world has this problem. The older kid always feels left out and ‘’old’’. When a younger entrant comes into the family, the attention and affection of the parents automatically go to the younger one.

Later on as the older child becomes an adult, a lot of emotional distance develops. A single-most cause of wavering older children in the family is emotional distance between them and their parents. This emotional distance is started by the parents during the older child’s childhood years.

So how do parents deal with this? How do they make the older child understand that showing more affection toward the younger child does not mean more love towards the younger one?

Treating all children the same

Parity is a technique and an art of gifted parenting. If parents can learn to treat all their children on par, then they have created a well-knit family. They would have also created a family that stays together, and with no sibling rivalry.

Telling the older child how he/she was treated when young

Telling tales of how the older child was petted and handled affectionately when he or she was a child will make the older child understand that petting stops at a certain age. And that is the rule of life. The older child will understand that reconcile to this fact.

Maintaining an emotional bond

Parents need to always be the first one to back the older child, and maintain an emotional link.

Filed Under: Child Tagged With: Child, Family, Parent

Childhood Phases ? Every Child Has A Unique Pattern Of Growth And Development

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It is very easy to glibly talk about the various phases of childhood. However, as a parent, it is very important to keep in mind that childhood phases should not be treated as watertight boundaries. Your child is not going to get up one fine morning and announce that he or she is moving on to the next phase.

How to find whether your child has moved on or not? The best option is to keep track of the level of obedience of the child. If you find that your child is suddenly making a large number of mistakes and infractions, then perhaps it is time to change the rules because your child has grown up.

It is time to explain why going to bed is important if your child argues against bed time rule. You may have never bothered doing this in the past because scolding your child or yelling at him or her was enough to scare the child into submission.

When you find your old methods not working, you will quickly realize that the child has changed. Many persons are uncomfortable with this trial and error approach. However, don’t expect any book or resource to tell you when your child’s behavior is going to change. Some children may move from the obedient phase to the disobedience phase and then further to the understanding phase very quickly. So much so that you may never realize that a phase has been crossed in between.

The best way to change your behavior is to look for changes in the behavior of your child. As the child grows, these changes would become apparent and clear.

Filed Under: Child, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Children Youth and Family, Parent

Activities for the Grieving Process

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If you have a child or children that are going through the grieving process over the death of a loved one, you may be looking for different ways to help them deal with the process. Some children may think that they need to completely forget about the death in order to get over the loss. However, helping your child understand the death will actually help in the long run. You can help your child through the grieving process by engaging them in activities that can assist in helping them understand and move through the process.

Here are some ideas for activities that can help your child. You can also find additional tips at many online sites for more help.

Artwork

Children can visualize their pain by creating art. Have your child draw or paint something that explains their pain. This can be a simple drawing or a complex collage. After finishing the artwork, have your child share the picture and explain what it symbolizes. This will open up a dialog about how your child is feeling.

Sharing Stories

Read stories about loss together. Your child can start to identify with characters who are grieving. This will again start a discussion about grieving because you can have your child explain how he or she feels compared to the story characters.

Music

Have your child choose music or songs and have him or her discuss how it represents the loss. Have him talk about why these songs have meaning to him. Your child should be allowed to make a connection to the music so he will have a connection and understanding of the loss.

Filed Under: Family, Grieving Tagged With: Animal loss, Child, Grief

The Common Types Of Parenting Methods Used

There are different kinds of parenting styles that are commonly used by people. Some of the parenting styles are used by each and every parent. It is not true that a parent will use only one kind of parenting style. Each and every parent will use many parenting styles over a period of time. It is important for the parent to ensure that the results are seen through their parenting. The kids would be well behaved and disciplined as this is the most important outcome of the parenting.

The different methods of parenting include those like autocratic style, permissive type and also the neglecting type. The last method that has been mentioned is something that needs to be avoided. Any parent who is neglecting the child is asking for trouble. The child will not listen to the parents and instead will cause a lot of problems. The child who is neglected will also be difficult to discipline.

The permissive parenting style is something where the parent allows the child to get away with any mistake. This will cause the child to make more and more mistakes. This will cause a lot of problems as the child grows. So, this kind of parenting style should also be avoided. Instead, the permissive style of parenting should also be used at times, but when the child does make mistakes, the parent needs to control the child by giving adequate punishment.

There are some parents who are autocratic in nature. These are the people who aill cause a lot of ill will in their children because of their dictatorial style of parenting. This can cause the child to be very submissive and may not shine when he grows up.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Parenting styles

The Underlying Grief That Causes Irritating Behavior in a Child

Pretty much anyone we spend any amount of time with can develop some pretty annoying behaviors. Children are certainly no exception. In many cases the child may not even be aware of what he or she is doing. Often there is some emotional issue that is manifesting itself through these habits. If there has been a significant loss in the child’s past, then it could be the underlying grief that causes irritating behavior in a child.

After the death of a parent or someone close, children sometimes pick up irritating behaviors such as whining, clinginess, or constantly interrupting others. To adults it’s just annoying and something that should be easy to fix. Not so with children. The threat of punishment will not make the behavior go away. If the behavior seems to come out the blue, it could be that a significant death from years earlier is still playing out in the child.

If your child picks up some annoying habits, consider that it is grief related. You might simply need to be more reassuring to the child to let them know that you are not going away. You can gently point out the problem and ask them to stop. They probably won’t realize their doing it. You can reward them for kicking that irritating habit. But mostly, you need to help the child understand the loss and work through it in a healthy way.

If the behavior continues, then a child psychologist may be needed. If you notice that certain situations make the behavior stop naturally, then try to keep that atmosphere more prevalent in the child’s life. Does baseball seem to make the child act more normal? It could be those activities are what feels normal. As the child grows emotionally, the tic or habit will go away. But the adults in the child’s life have to assess the irritating behavior and be vigilant in making sure the child feels secure and loved.

Filed Under: Child, Parenting Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Mental health

The Thin Line Between Abuse And Spanking In Parenting

Parenting is an art. The reason for this is because there are only a few parents who are able to control their kids. There are many parents who try parenting, but are not able to be successful in this. This is the reason for the parenting to be called as an art. The main and the most important question in parenting is to know if the child needs to be spanked and of there is a difference between spanking a child an also abuse of the child.

Many of the experts feel that the spanking of a child is something that should not be done. The reason for this is that when the child is spanked, the child may lose the confidence that he or she has. The child may also become very scared. There are many other kids who are not able to take spanking and they also become abusers when they become older. All these are the reasons for the experts to feel that parenting should not invite spanking.

In spite of this argument, there are many kids who need spanking at some time or other. This is because they need to understand some of the right from the wrong. When they are punished in other methods, they may not realize the seriousness of the mistakes that they made. So, there is only a thin line of difference between abuse and also punishing the child with spanking. So parenting needs to be done very carefully and parents need to make sure that the kids are given spanking only for extreme mistakes. At all other times, they should be punished with other methods like giving time outs and also cutting out television programs.

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Spanking

Deciding on the Size of a Life Insurance Plan

Most people want to concentrate on life and not death-related subjects. However, if you have children to raise and protect, buying life insurance is an important step. When you start to compare insurance quote after insurance quote, you will likely be faced with dilemmas about how large of a life insurance plan to purchase. Making this decision requires thinking through a number of factors.

Understanding the Needs of Your Dependents

The purpose of life insurance is to provide for your loved ones in the event that you pass away. If you suffer an accident or are faced with an unexpected and terminal illness, you want to ensure that your family will not be in a financial bind. Just how big of a policy do you need? What financial needs will they have should you pass away?

Your ideal life insurance policy should cover all of the debts left behind, such as your mortgage, car payments, other loans and credit card debts. Beyond this, you’ll want to consider how much your children or your spouse will need to meet basic needs. If your spouse will need to continue working, how much will he or she need to make sure that the children are cared for, either by a babysitter or in an after-school activity? In addition to these costs, you will want to think about the future of your children. How much money will they need to go to college?

Compare Insurance Quote to Your Present Budget

When you have a dollar amount in mind, you will then want to compare insurance quotes to your present budget to determine an affordable premium amount. Life insurance premiums are adjusted based on age, so the price will increase gradually as you age. However, investing in financially protecting your family in the event of an untimely death is one of the more loving steps you can take for your family.

Filed Under: Adaptation, Family Tagged With: Child, Death, Life insurance

Seven Year Olds

Seven year olds are amazing children. They are right at the age where they are starting to be independent and able to do some things by themselves, but they have not lost the wonder of childhood yet.

A seven year old is normally going to be in first or second grade. This is a very neat age for school as well. The kids are now able to do some reading and are starting in with more complex math. These children are eager learners and a lot of fun to be around.

Some of the problems that seven year olds face include teasing and friend issues. This is an age where children start noticing differences in each other, and at times these differences get pointed out. Children who are somewhat different than their peers are ripe to be teased.

If you see this going on with your child, whether he is the teaser or the one being teased, you need to step in and see what you can do to nip this in the bud. Many parents hesitate to get involved in situations like this because they do not want their child to seem like a baby. However, in today’s society teasing can turn to bullying and that is when things get messy.

Hopefully these issues don’t affect your children too badly, and if they do maybe you are able to easily solve the problems. But, if they continue you may want to consider getting a therapist or psychologist involved to help your child deal with these issues. A few actions to help end these problems when they are small will help keep them from turning into something major later on down the road when there aren’t simple solutions.

Filed Under: Adaptation, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Parent, Teasing

Preparing Your Child for Divorce

Divorce is painful for all involved, but for a child who simply does not understand why things within the marriage cannot be fixed, it can be devastating. Parents can take steps to make the process go smoothly. Parents need to teach children about divorce. The biggest factor to focus on is how the divorce will affect the child. The task is not easy, but it is necessary to help ensure the emotional well being of the child.

Work to Explain

The first thing parents need to do is to explain what is happening. The likely first question will be, “why?” It is essential to explain to the child that he or she did nothing to cause the divorce to occur. Explain that sometimes parents cannot make decisions together and do not agree on things.

In addition to this, parents need to keep the child busy. Keep the child enrolled at the same school, if possible. Encourage the child to be a part of sports or other activities. Keep life as normal as possible for the child to ensure he is able to maintain some normalcy in his life. This will help the child to overcome some of the difficulties.

Get Help

Managing divorce with your child can be challenging, but help is available. Discuss options with a divorce lawyer. Some divorce lawyers have the ability to provide information to the child and to you for the child. The divorce attorney has experience handling this type of scenario and can help you. Some even specialize in providing aid to children of divorce.

Divorce is difficult, but children can overcome it. Ensure both parents provide the child with the same information. Assure the child he will still have time with both parents, but be realistic. Do not promise more than you can provide. Divorce attorneys can help ensure the child’s well being is a main part of the divorce. The child’s well being focuses on you, too.

Filed Under: Child, Parenting Tagged With: Child, Divorce, Parent

Grief and Bipolar Disorder

To suffer from bipolar disorder can be one of the most difficult situations for the patient and the family. The mood swings, damaged relationships and unexpected disappointments can mount up in a way that causes the person suffering from the disease to be marginalized. When a death occurs, the bipolar individual may have a hard time distinguishing grief from the disease. Maybe there is no distinction, but in young people, grief and bipolar disorder can be disastrous without proper support.

Bipolar disorder will likely not be diagnosed until a child is in the late teenage years. Until that point, behavior problems may have been a frustrating mystery. They may have caused such strife for parents that divorce was the outcome. These kids may feel deeply responsible for the problems in the family. They are self-focused, so even though it isn’t their intention, they may seem ungrateful or selfish. When a death occurs and the bipolar teen is hit with a load of grief, symptoms will escalate to a crisis level.

Make sure that a kid experiencing grief and bipolar disorder is taking his medications regularly. In fact, be the one to administer the medicines to guarantee it’s happening. Keep the child away from drugs and alcohol as much as possible. You can’t be the 24 hour keeper, but you can tighten the boundaries for awhile until things stabilize. Make time to talk with this child, no matter how dramatic, abusive and difficult he may be. Remember that he doesn’t have the same control over his emotions as a normal person.

Never be afraid to seek psychiatric help if the grief and bi polar disorder seem too profound for you to deal with on your own. Whether it’s a psychologist or whether you feel your child would be safest if he was hospitalized, the goal is to keep him safe and healthy while helping him deal with the normal feelings of grief in an abnormal situation.

Filed Under: Child, Grieving Tagged With: Bipolar disorder, Child